Once Upon A Madonna (1985)


Starring: Erica Boyer, Kathleen Kelly, Little Oral Annie, Patti Petite, Francois, John Leslie, Joey Silvera, Tom Byron, Ron Jeremy.

Susan (Erica Boyer) has the world on a string – and by the time she finds herself featured in Dick and Harry’s (Tom Byron, Joey Silvera) personal ad she has the Esquire family jewels in the palm of her hand and poor Tom (John Leslie) fit to be tied, left by his lonesome to face the music and the blonde bombshell (Michael Phillips) who is looking for the missing links. Unaware she has filched a fabulous fortune, that light-hearted, light-fingered lady goes in search of her classified Casanovas while across town, Rochelle (Patti Petite) reads Susan’s sensual summons, decides stick-in-the-mud husband, Garth, (Ron Jeremy) is strictly a snore and makes s bee-line for the place of assignation to discover just what Susan is getting that she’s never got. But instead of crashing the party, Rochelle runs head-on into Susan, completely forgetting herself and getting turned upside down and around to land in a fine kettle of fish with both Blondie and Garth keeping the pot boiling as the main course at a group encounter catered by the neighborhood’s very welcoming committee (Kathleen Kelly Little Oral Annie). When the dust settles, Susan’s back in the pink with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Even Blondie gets it in the end. And Rochelle? Well, how’re ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm after they’ve been fancy-free? She burns her bridges without thinking Once Upon A Madonna.





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